I have come to realize.....

....that I have 0 tolerance for those who take advantage of me or someone else. Be it my seniors, my colleagues, my friends or a stranger. I just can't keep quiet and watch them do it. It keeps nagging within me to tell the person off.
Did you know there are people who actually enjoy taking advantage of others, they actually justify their acts by making statements like "oh she can afford to" or, "oh she has the time", or "oh she WILL enjoy doing it anyway". This attitude gets on my nerves, in my nerves and around my nerves.
To be frank, very rarely have people got away with acting that way with me. I am more adamant than a mule when it comes to justice. I wont barge an inch. I NEVER take advantage of a person or a situation, and therefore I feel all others around me should be the same. It drives me crazy to see otherwise. I am not being pompous when I say I am not that kind of a person. I may have a lot of weaknesses in me but this is definitely not one of them. Even when I ask a person for a favor, I make sure I somehow make up for it or do my bit in making that person feel good.
A friend of mine suggested that I butt out of things that do not concern me. I am trying to work around that. This world is such a strange place to be. You look around and you see so much of disappointments around you. No one really cares for your well being, no one is truly happy for you when you do good. You cannot count on anyone to be truly happy for you except your immediate family. Its a strange world out there.
I have a lot to change in me. I do not know where to start. Staying out of other people's cares and concerns should be one of them. My wish is to go into a shell. Be a quieter person. Be a non-interfering person especially when it comes to matters of others. Be calm and composed even when the world around me is falling apart. Can I be that person? I will blog a few months later to see if there has been any changes in me since I did this blog.

My Wonderful Friday

I just had a wonderful Friday; being all by myself. It just went to confirm what I have always known, I am a LONER. Its not that I do not enjoy socializing or having people over...but there are times I just want to be myself. And I have not had that privilige for months. I love to listen to music full blast, I love to dance every now and then when a song I like plays, I love to wear what I want to wear and not be restricted by who is around......my kind of day!
Last Friday, I managed to watch three movies back to back and ate 2 bars of chocolate after I had my chinese take-away lunch and did not have a care in the world.
I think my system needs to unwind every now and then with these kind of days. On other days I am too stressed out and running behind time for every activity.
I am so not a punctual person. Even the days I set out early, I get delayed by an unexpected call, a friend I meet on the way after a very long time, or some such incident. It amazes me the way I am unable to keep time.
Even to work its been a burden getting to work on time.....I pass my vehicle through the gate as my clock shows 7.35 a.m. (I shud be in by 7.30 a.m. latest), and to think I wake up at 5.15 a.m. What am I doing wrong? I have asked myself that question a 100 times.

Three months too late!

Its been a while since I felt like writing on my blog! I know that is unthinkable for a true blogger. I slipped in life, circumstances in life made it hard to have a normal bubbly life. A lot of thoughts came to my mind during the past few weeks......most prominent of all being driving practices! Why is that people do not use the indicator signals while driving on the roads of Kuwait. Do they not know such an option is available in EVERY vehicle. I wish I cud paste it someplace that there are indeed three road tracks and they are differentiated rightly for a reason; the fast track, the disciplined driver track and then we have the slow track. All those who have a 100+ things on their mind and want to stroll at 70kph or slower, should DEFINITELY not be on the middle track. I personally avoid the fast track as I just do not fit there. The middle track is ideal for me. However, when there are dreamers on the same track, and when I am late to work, it really helps if they wud move on to "dreamers track" or commonly known as the slow track instead of holding up traffic and getting a whole lot of people late for work! I wish I cud voice this concern of mine on national television! It gets very frustrating during rush hour to have these dreamers drive by. I too get occupied sometimes with the thoughts and plans of the day, but I ensure that I leave the first two tracks available and move on to the dreamers track. Likewise, it would be great if someone out there emphasized these few traffic glitches.

Happy Driving!

Is dishonesty the best cure?

I look around me and see dishonesty to the core. Some lie for the sake of keeping the other from getting hurt, others lie so that all goes well in a relationship, still others lie to hide their envious nature while others lie to keep the society happy. A hundred and more other reasons. Each one has justified reasons for lying. The energy taken to lie, if put to be honest, this world would be a better place.


I am a kind of person, no matter how hard the fact is, I would rather hear it than have people lie about it. When my brother who passed away on 2 May 2009, had gone in for a petscan in April in Bombay for his NH cancer, the tests showed that the "well contained cancer" had indeed spread to certain other organs of his body. It was a fact that was hard for us to digest, leave alone having to tell him about it. My family around me refused to let him have the facts thinking that would destroy his frame of mind and be an obstacle in his healing process. When he called me and asked me, I did not have the heart to lie to him and told him the facts. It may have broken him up from within, it may have hurt him, who knows, it may have also killed his spirit to fight the cancer, I will never know. Was I the reason he did not beat the battle with cancer? I will never know. All I know is that if I was in his place, I would want to hear the truth. He asked everyone to be honest around him, but all kept lying. I feel everyone should be given that choice. If he kept probing and wanted to know the truth, I feel he has the right to know.

I cannot imagine, being in his position, helpless in a hospital, and have everyone around lying that all is well and me having to take their word for it.


In this world, I know there are alot of people who love me and care for me. But deep within me, I fear, would their love and care keep them from telling me the harshest facts of life. Today, I want to be reassured that there is at least one person I can trust, who would tell me exactly as things are.

At the end of the day, we should remember each of us have to go through tests and trials in our life, God will not give us more than we can handle. How long can you protect someone from getting hurt or being told the truth. No matter how bad the situation, I would want to know the truth. That does not mean, I will not get hurt, it does not mean, I will stand up strong and say "Thats nothing, I can take more". I may falter, I may cry, I may go into a temporary phase of depression, but then I believe that was all written in the book of life for me. I was to feel all those emotions and thats why I have to go through it.


I feel this world is full of people who are not genuine, who are always trying to cover someone else's back, who do not want to hurt their loved one. Why can't we just be? Be honest! One of the commandments does say "thou shalt not lie". Sin does not have a degree. There is nothing like a big sin and a small sin. A sin is a sin. Period. Whether you are into envy, stealing, lying or indulging in adultery, its all equivalent to sin in the eyes of God.


Most of the time, I feel we lie assuming that we know best and the best is to keep facts away from the other. Not true. No single human being has all the answers. Always remember we are a bunch of imperfect people who desire to be perfect . So along the way, you have to make certain changes that would lead you up the path to perfection. You may or may never attain perfection in your lifetime, but if you do not try, you will never know. When you see flaws in yourself, the first thing to do is admit they are indeed negative points in you. Secondly, try to make changes to be a better person, you may fail miserably but then again, you must keep trying.


As for me I am wondering why don't I throw caution to the wind and be honest today. I am guilty of being dishonest during many occasions but today I choose to change that. I want to be honest, be it for small things like when the phone rings and I just do not feel like talking, or even if someone asks me for a favor which I know will not fit into my tight schedule. I am going to be honest, even if it hurts the other person. Once again, I am assuming it would hurt the other person. May be the other person would appreciate my honesty and move along. So, why sin for something so trivial. Not worth it.

Be Still!

A good friend of mine is not happy today. She is going home to take care of her mother who has been taken ill. I am saddened by the fact that she will be travelling with a heavy heart, with so many questions lurking in her mind and no certain answers.
Nobody likes uncertainties and sudden changes in their lives. My friend leaves not knowing when she will be back, not knowing how bad her mother is, not knowing how she would be able to help with a ten month old baby, not knowing how the rest of her family will cope without her here in Kuwait. So many issues to think about.
I have been thinking about her predicament and I have come to the conclusion that she will survive through it all because she will have God's favor on her side. When we are sure of God's presence in our life, we can take on any challenges that come our way. Simply because God is in control of every turn in our life. What great hope we have as we have the favor of God on our side.
Faith is standing still and holding on to your promises during the STORM and not when the sea is calm.
Faith is being certain of the unseen.
Faith can move mountains if you truly believe and not waiver in your thoughts.
It is very difficult to be still and not ask questions when trials hit you, but that is what we are called to do. That way we show characteristics of a true christian. I love the verse I read this morning, "we are asked to run with patience the race that is set before us". Patience and run are two extremes in my dictionary, they cannot go hand in hand during a race. It is so contradictory, yet we are asked to run with patience. In my understanding it simply means its during your trials and challenges that you are asked to move on doing your duties and not sit and wallow in your adverse situation. You have to carry on what you are asked to do and move on in life. Just like Christ was sure of the crucifixation that lay ahead, he continued to do miracles, continued to heal the sick, blind and lame, he continued to reach out to the down-trodden. He did not sit moaning the trial that was up ahead.
So my advice to my friend would be to move on, go ahead and run the race that is set for her, with patience and in due time she will see God's hand was with her through all her uncertainties.

My Hair!

I finally went and had that long over-due hair-cut. I gathered all my courage and went straight from work. Did not want to have second thoughts. I have never been happy with my hair cuts, they have never been "oh wow". So, usually, when I decide to cut my hair, and reluctantly make that appointment, a 100 thoughts crop up in my mind like, why did I want a cut, my hair looks good today, everyone has bad hair days, why did I make that appointment, my hair looks better than it ever has right now.....all these thoughts crowd my mind and I go with that negative attitude. Not yesterday! I did not have any of those thoughts.......my hair was really really bad, limp and made me look very pale. All signs were showing that I was indeed long over due. I must admit, I prayed that I wud not look odd as I had a birthday party to attend.

Amidst all the standstorm in Kuwait, I have been hit by the wind of change. Last week I went in for a candle wax treatment for my facial hair, wow, my skin feels as soft as a baby's butt, and then I went to a shoe store and got myself two pairs of shoes that I would never even have tried before, but this time I put it on my feet and decided it would be make a good change.

Back to my hair, I must say I am a happy person. Hope it stays as good after my first shower.

P.S. For your info, my face is totally touched up with photoshop or one of those amazing programs. Hard as I looked, I could not find a single blemish on my face. This picture just goes to prove what technology can do!! Who knows may be the next time, the photographer could make my neck look shorter!!

My hunt for shoes carries on.

I have been looking for the perfect black shoes for I dont know how long. I have gone to so many malls, in and out of so many of my favorite stores but in vain. I need that perfect shoe for work, the perfect heel, the perfect look, the perfect comfort. I do not compromise for second best when it comes to shoes/footwear. No matter what others think, if I am not confident in them I will not pick it.

I go for stilettos, shoes that are delicate to look at yet comfortable. It has to look just perfect from any angle of the human eye. The colour of the heels matter to me just as much as the colour of the shoe itself. And as if that does not make my hunt for shoes tuff, I had to have shoe size that is neither 37 nor 36. Anyone out there have feet that measure 36.5?. Join my club. Its so difficult to get shoes that are comfortable as you either opt for a slighly loose fit (37) or a tightly packed fit (36). All my life i settled for 36 which has left me with some odd looking cones on my toes. I feel more confident with a tight shoe than a loose one that might just fall off my feet while I trot to work.

I went to Skechers the other day and found meself a very nice shoe that was size 36.5. I grabbed it. Keds are available in all sizes but shoes are the difficult choice. What is even more depressing is when your husband does not like your choice in footwear. I prefer the delicate ones and he prefers me wearing cloggs, out of this world kind of shoes in shocking colours and funky stuff. In my opinion, I feel all of that is very loud for my sense of dressing and therefore refrain from picking those. What do you do in these instances, do you buy shoes to please hubby or yourself?? Uuh uuh......not me! Its all about being confident in what you feel good in. I aint straying from that train of thought EVER!

I have been looking for a skin tone (nude colour) shoe as well, that wud go so easily with all dresses and skirts. But that too in vain. You just do not find shoes like they have at Jimmy Choo. I wud love to meet her and thank her for making a world of difference in the shoes worn by celebrities these days. She makes such lovely shoes, its amazing. They are perfect and delicate from every angle. In addition, she has them in all sizes. God bless America!

Check out some of these shoes below to understand what I am trying to say.

http://http//www.jimmychoo.com/pws/ProductCategoryAttributeLink.ice?layout=departmentprod.layout&paId=CLAS&value=02&paId2=AVAILABLE_ONLINE&value2=true&productsPerPage=6